


Slippery Slopes

by HixyStix



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: M/M, Voyeurism, bottom zeb rights, unwitting exhibitionism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:28:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24096592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HixyStix/pseuds/HixyStix
Summary: Supply closets are a slippery slope that leads to forgetting to turn off the holocams.A short dumpster fire based off a Cards Against Humanity round winner.
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios
Comments: 6
Kudos: 68





	Slippery Slopes

**Author's Note:**

> This is trash, I'm trash; someone please come do this better.

General Draven wasn’t used to seeing a gaggle of pilots crowded around the briefing table.

Pilots were strange, skittish creatures when Intelligence officers came around. They tended to scatter and keep to themselves.

This group wasn’t: they were joined by maintenance staff, Fleet crew, even officers. And, strangest of all were the looks on their faces. Some were horrified, others were trying not to kill themselves laughing.

What was going on?

He marched over. Not bothering to look up, some of the pilots scooted over to make room for the newcomer.

There, in the center of the briefing table, in full holo, were Captains Orrelios and Kallus in the middle of, well, in the middle of the throes of passion. They sat on boxes, wrapped around each other, clothes torn off at some point earlier. Draven knew he’d never seen anything like the face his subordinate was making – Captain Kallus was known for being proper and straight-laced, not… not this wanton thing crying out some decidedly filthy sentences in Huttese.

“What is this?” barked Draven, more shocked than anything.

The group startled, moving collectively to stare at Draven’s face with terror.

_“Speak Basic,” growled Orrelios as he yanked on Kallus’s hair. “You know I want to understand ya.”_

“Um,” said one brave private. “It appears Captains–”

_“May I speak” – and here Kallus moaned lustfully – “Lasana?”_

“I can _see_ what the Captains are doing,” Draven snapped. “What I want to know is why hasn’t anyone stopped this? Why are you all standing around _watching_?”

_“Only if you want me to flip you over and plow into your ass for a change.”_

“Um, we don’t know where they are?” tried one timid voice.

_“Gal ko sylf an **na** lithir'a, Okorre...ki La'n z'skeryl lithad'a **an?** ”_

Draven pointed at the image, just in time for Orrelios to arch his back as Kallus’s hands grabbed fur and tugged hard, eliciting a sharp groan from the lasat. “They’re on munitions boxes. You might try the munitions closets.”

“ ** _Kriff_** _!” Orrelios shouted, loud enough to cause audio distortion. “Right, then. You asked for it.” He maneuvered Kallus around until he was straddling the lasat instead of the other way around._

Someone else muttered something and the group collectively agreed.

_Kallus smiled, loose and easy and open, the look on his face both mocking and adoring. “You think this means you’ve won.”_

“What was that?”

_“I got you here, don’t I? I already won.”_

“Sir, um. None of us want to go.”

_A hard pull on Orrelios’s beard. “Did I tell you to go sappy on me?”_

“Why is that?”

_“No,” growled Orrelios. “Karabast, Kal, let a guy speak his mind when you’re kriffing him to Wild Space and back.”_

“Captain Orrelios is _scary_ when he gets mad…”

 _“Only **after**_ _you’ve done what I say.”_

Draven reached under the briefing table and turned off the holo feed. “Son, _I_ will be even scarier if you don’t go tell those two to get back to work _right now_.”

With that, the group scattered and left the briefing room as quietly as if they’d never been there at all.

Once he was sure they were gone, Draven made sure the doors were sealed and flipped the holo back on.

He was curious just what sort of man Captain Kallus was behind closed doors.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, yet again, to Anath_Tsurugi for letting me bug her for Lasana lines to use!
> 
> Here is the NSFW translation: And how will you fuck _me_ , Captain...when I'm so busy fucking _you_?


End file.
